My solution to Creationism

Many schools are having a difficult time explaining the science of creationism. I think I've found the perfect solution. I suggest this statement be placed in every science book:


The Universe is at least 6,000 years old. At least one god may or may not have created, dreamed, hatched, cried, whipped up, smashed down, molded, gave birth to and/or spitted out the Universe. The Universe took at least 6 days to form.

In the beginning of Earth's formation there were no animals. After at least four days there were animals on the Earth. After at least five days there were humans on the Earth. 6,000 years ago there were gardens. At least one man and one woman probably lived in a garden and there were most likely animals there as well. At this time (6,000 years ago) dinosaurs did not pose a threat to humans. Snakes can be dangerous. People should not eat plants they're unfamiliar with. Sometimes men and women get tired of living in a garden and leave.

Humans have remained genetically same and have not evolved for at least 6,000 years. Soil contains carbon and other bio material. The same chemicals and compounds in soil can be found in humans. When soil dries out it can be considered by some to be dust. Therefore the same material that makes a human is also in dust.

Men sleep and sometimes they hurt one of their ribs while they're asleep. Sometimes the injury is so bad that the rib must be removed . Sometimes women need a bone marrow transplant and it's theoretically possible that the marrow from the damaged rib could be used to give life to the woman. Then they would have some of the same stuff in common. This could cause an emotional bond to form and the man and woman could get married.

See, it's all better now.

Source Story: "The Universe Could Soon Be 6,000 Years Old in Texas"